Episode 46: Ned got rats in his engine

Wednesday

Ned got rats in his engine and he’s pissed—no pun intended, see below. The rats are sleeping in his engine overnight because it’s cold outside and his engine is warm. “What happened?” I say, and I get the full story.

Turns out he found rat poop under the hood, which he discovered after getting a farty smell whenever he ran the heater. He tried everything; parking the car down the street, opening the hood and shining a light on it overnight, rat traps in the engine—the food from which the rats stole, unharmed—and nothing’s worked. He even tried, for multiple nights running, to “surprise” them by getting up periodically to tiptoe out to the van and flip the hood open. 

I’d suggest getting a cat, but Ned’s barely willing to pay for food to feed his (human) family. 

“I don’t know what to do,” he says. “It’s driving me crazy.”

“-er,” I say. 

As I walk out of his office, with Ned wringing his hands, I can’t decide which one of our lives is more like an endless Mr. Bean sketch.