Episode 35: I am now convinced that Ned is one of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse

Wednesday

I am now convinced that Ned is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. He ate a ham sandwich that was four days old (and not in the fridge) and he's still alive, which really means he must be undead, certainly.

All this and he has the audacity to say this about my homemade banana bread: “I don't like it because I can taste the health.”

Our workday wanes as he walks deep into my office to stand beside me, silent and smiling, like he's about to speak, but decides against it. 

He turns to leave the room. Then the stench of his silent-but-deadly “gift” hits me. It's godawful as a city dump.

“You and me are the same. We are one,” he says with sagely airs as he exits my confined office, closing the door behind him.

And here I was being grateful that he didn't try to make us become blood brothers one day.