Episode 41: Ned is a poet at heart

Friday

Ned is a poet at heart—a surly, angry poet, whose primary theme is about two things: revenge and money. In this way he’s a samurai for hire, roaming our office kingdom looking for an excuse to put his enemies to the sword. As you can imagine, I am the commoner who paid him disrespect. But it’s 2018, so, rather than execute me, Ned chose to threaten me with a haiku. Ned sent me this passive-aggressive (ok, outright aggressive) haiku in response to me finding a bike on the side of the road, which, in Ned’s world, means it’s his: 

Bring my bike to me

Or I might have to kill you

Bring my bike to me

I've realized that there is no getting even with Ned: things are always in flux between who has the thing (other people) and who wants the thing (Ned). My guilt-repayment plan is ever in arrears.