Episode 42: Ned’s sitting on a goldmine

Monday

Ned’s sitting on a goldmine, literally. Ok, figuratively, and it’s “brown gold,” really. You see, Ned has just learned about bacteriotherapy and he’s giddy with delight. Bacteriotherapy is the kinder name for the very obviously named fecal microbiota transplant (FMT)—a process by which gut bacteria from a healthier digestive system is transplanted to another. It’s big business as far as Ned’s concerned, because he’s able to eat anything and still live. 

He’s the Usain Bolt of fecal microbiota, the Yo-Yo Ma of dookie, and he wants to get rich. It is Ned’s apotheosis to be paid to go to the bathroom. To help with his, erm, movements in this respect—of course, I was immediately “voluntold” to be his coach—I found him this perfect training food: