Episode 49: I accidentally scared Ned’s wife

Thursday

I accidentally scared Ned’s wife. I was riding home from work on my bike. I turned right onto one road, and as I did so, I could see behind me a familiar van approaching. It was familiar because STALKING. Ned is in the passenger seat, and as the car passes, he rolls the widow down. 

“Ah ha,” he says. “I knew it was you. I’m still stalking you.” 

“You’re not supposed to tell me that if you’re stalking me!” I yell. And, I can see the look of confusion and fear building on his wife’s face. 

To make matters worse, I say, “Where’s my damn money, Ned? You owe me!” Then I laugh manically. 

I watch the van drive onward, leaving behind a curious odour of what must be coyote urine mixed with regret. I see Ned's arm waving around and surmise that he and his wife are already in a heated conversation.