Episode 34: One of my favourite things Ned does is to pretend to be normal

Monday

One of my favourite things Ned does is to pretend to be normal. Let me give you an example. 

It's fair to say that he's addicted to deals, especially Costco deals. Daily, he goes to a website that posts Costco deals. Some poor schmuck even goes around the aisles to take pictures of every single deal on the shelves—Ned's no sucker: he has to see the deal for real, or it's all just white people trying to rip him off, he says. 

He brings me into his office to show me the Costco-deals website and says this: "You see? This is what I do every day," as he makes me watch him scroll through image after image of deals.

"I do it like this." As he says this, he mimics his past-self doing the very same thing he's showing me now. He makes exaggerated mouse-scroll motions and feigns wide-eyed interest in what he's seeing.

It's the most rudimentary mime performance I have ever witnessed. It all gets pretty existential pretty quickly, because he's imitating the thing he's actually doing, and I worry that some kind of wormhole will open up and suck us both into oblivion. At least, then, my debt to him won't matter. 

Wait, knowing my luck, we'll just be tumbling down a dark hole for all eternity, with Ned complaining at me the whole time about the lack of snacks.